At Hidden Water, we make an important distinction between one who has harmed a child or young person sexually, and one who has harmed a child or young person sexually and is ready to take responsibility.
We welcome with open arms those who are ready to take the road of accountability, and do what they can to heal.
To join the PURPLE circle is to step into a non-judgmental space with others who have caused sexual harm and do the hard work of taking responsibility. Whether or not one has access to the victim or other loved ones impacted, this work is an individual endeavor to heal through acknowledging the truth and understanding the elements that lead to the harm.
Most of us who have caused harm sexually to a young person go through a period of denial about what we have done. We may still be in the process of minimizing the impact or making excuses about why it happened, and maybe even see ourselves as the victim. We understand that shame is abated through these coping mechanisms. It is a stage in the healing process but now we are ready to take a step forward to the next stage. We need support to overcome those defenses and truly face the harm.
The PURPLE Circle is a space where each person has the space to push their edges and hold themselves in truth at their own pace. Allowing ourselves to feel the full weight of the negative, often life-changing, impact we have had on another person. This can only happen in a safe space, in relationship with those that understand us and are not judging us. We need others who will allow us to find our way to accountability without distortion but also while never losing sight of our humanity.
PURPLE participants have a full seat at the table in Hidden Water. We do not privilege one color over another, though we all have different work to do. We strive for safety, healing and understanding in each color. We understand that a crucial part of the healing process is to spend time doing our own internal work with others who know the path to healing. As more people who have caused sexual harm take steps toward healing through accountability, more will come.
No one harms in a vacuum. All harm, healing and prevention depend on the health of the systems around us. When we work together, the PURPLE participant who is walking the path of responsibility in a powerful way, plays an important role in the healing for all. We have seen when we each do our work, and show up for each other, we can usher in a shift that leads all to a greater understanding, a release of some aspects of the trauma, and the courage to stop harm from happening to the next vulnerable child.
Learn more about the structure and process of Healing Circles.
Our program aims to take our participants, approximately 300 per year, and give them the individual healing, the collective understanding and the prevention education to stop child sexual abuse before it begins.